Honor Your Father and Mother

“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you” (Exodus 20:12).

God commanded the Israelites to honor their parents, to value them and hold them in the highest esteem on a daily basis. Leviticus 19:3 taught every Jew to “reverence” (literally, “fear”) his parents — a term often used of one’s attitude toward God Himself.

Paul quotes the fifth commandment and calls it “the first commandment with a promise” (Ephesians 6:2-3). That promise was “that your days may be long upon the land.” Israel's success in Canaan was at least partly dependent on their valuing their mothers and fathers. So is our own success in living godly lives.

We're mistaken if we think this commandment is just for young children. There’s something here for everyone. Let me suggest three ways we need to honor father and mother.

1. Young people, honor them by respecting their authority. “Children, be obedient to your parents in all things, for this is well-pleasing to the Lord” (Colossians 3:20). I know this isn’t always easy. You don’t always see the reason for their rules and limits. A three-year-old may not see the harm of playing in the middle of the street; and a teenager may not see the harm of going to an unsupervised party; but mom and dad have a good reason for saying no. Your parents may seem hopelessly out of touch with reality at times, but the truth is, they’ve seen a lot more of reality than you have. That means they know what they’re talking about. Listen to them.

Honoring your parents goes beyond abiding by their rules. Many kids obey their parents but still show contempt for them. They talk disrespectfully to them and talk disrespectfully about them. God instructed Israel, “He who curses his father or his mother shall surely be put to death” (Exodus 21:17). Just as one who reveres God will not lift up His name lightly (Exodus 20:7), one who reveres his parents will always show respect for them.

Being a teenager brings the special challenge of learning to think for yourself while still submitting to your parents. There will probably always be a few conflicts, but those conflicts will be scarce and small if you remember that it’s your duty before God to respect your folks and submit to their authority.

2. Adults, honor them by living as they taught you. The good news about your out-of-touch parents is that they don’t stay out of touch for long. The older you get, the smarter they appear. The more you take responsibility for your own life, the more you see the wisdom of their instruction to you.

Ephesians 6:3 states the promise of the fifth commandment this way: “that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth.” That wording brings it home to each of us as individuals: our parents’ instruction and discipline are to equip us to succeed as adults. “Discipline isn’t meant to make a child miserable but to make him wise. Parents who discipline their children are blessed correspondingly by wise children who bring them joy” (Robert Alden). “A wise son makes a father glad, but a foolish son is a grief to his mother” (Proverbs 10:1).

“My son, do not forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commandments; for length of days and years of life, and peace they will add to you” (Proverbs 3:1-2). Were these inspired words of Solomon directed to his son Rehoboam? If so, we should take note. When Rehoboam became king, he lost most of his kingdom because he rejected the counsel of his father’s advisors (1 Kings 12:1-16). The price of ignoring our parents’ wisdom is high.

Nowhere is this more important than in the realm of spiritual things. Rehoboam also turned away from his father’s example of godliness, and Judah quickly sank into immorality and idolatry. Paul reminded Timothy of the faith taught him by his mother and grandmother (2 Timothy 1:5) and encouraged him to continue in it (3:14-15). If your parents have taken the time and effort to train you in God’s ways, it’s because they know that’s the most important thing in the world. “The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice, and he who begets a wise son will be glad in him” (Proverbs 23:24).

3. Honor them in their later years. Most societies throughout history have revered the elderly for their experience and wisdom. If and when a person’s parents became aged and unable to care for themselves, they were typically brought under the family’s roof (often necessitating an expanded house) and cared for until death.

But our culture tends to view old age as a curse and elderly folks as a burden. We seem to fear few things more than aging (think about the glut of products designed to “keep us young”), thinking that growing old renders one useless to society. And many people take virtually no responsibility in providing for their parents in their twilight years.

God teaches us reverence for the elderly. “A gray head is a crown of glory; it is found in the way of righteousness” (Proverbs 16:31). Instead of contempt, age is worthy of greatest honor — doubly so in case of our own parents! We owe them a debt of honor for what they have contributed to our lives. Paul emphasizes this in his instructions concerning widows. “But if any widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to practice piety in regard to their own family, and to make some return to their parents; for this is acceptable in the sight of God” (1 Timothy 5:4). He adds, “But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith, and is worse than an unbeliever” (verse 8).

Jesus gave the scribes and Pharisees a much-needed lesson on the fifth commandment. He told them:

God said, ‘Honor your father and mother’…But you say, ‘Whoever shall say to his father and mother, “Anything of mine you might have been helped by has been given to God,” he is not to honor his father or his mother.’ And thus you invalidated the word of God for the sake of your tradition (Matthew 15:4-6).

These men tried to create a loophole in God’s commandment, and Jesus exposed their hypocrisy. His teaching confirms that honoring our parents includes caring for them in later years.

“Do not despise your mother when she is old” (Proverbs 23:22). Honoring our aging parents means respecting their difficulties. The physical infirmities of later life are aptly described in Ecclesiastes 12:1-5. There are also emotional difficulties that are especially keen for the aged. In such a time, our parents deserve our support, our patience, and our love.

Do you parents know how much you honor them?

Remember the Sabbath Day

“Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is the Sabbath of the Lord your God. In it you shall do no work…” (Exodus 20:8-9).

The word “sabbath” means “rest, ceasing from labor.” For Israel, the setting aside of the seventh day of the week as a day of rest honored both God’s rest from creation and His deliverance of them from Egypt (Exodus 20:11; Deuteronomy 5:12-15). The Hebrews first observed this holy day in the wilderness en route to Mt. Sinai (Exodus 16:22-30). Throughout Jewish history the sabbath was a day for rest, worship, and meditation on God and His word.

In addition to the sabbath day, the Law provided for a sabbath year every seven years. In that year the Jews were not to farm their land and were to forgive the debts owed to them (Leviticus 25:1-7; Deuteronomy 15:1-11). Furthermore, every seventh sabbath year was followed by a year of Jubilee, in which Hebrew slaves were freed and lands were returned to the families who had originally owned them (Leviticus 25:23-34, 39-41; 27:24). Feast days (Passover, Pentecost, Atonement, etc.) were also treated as sabbaths, regardless of the day of the week (Leviticus 23:23-36).

All of these sabbaths served to promote the welfare of the people and remind them that everything and everyone ultimately belonged to God. The sabbath was given not only to honor God, but to benefit man. The restrictions of the sabbath were meant to be a blessing, not a burden. As if to underscore this point, Jesus often healed the sick on the sabbath (Mark 3:1-6; Luke 13:10-17). This was much to the shock of the scribes and Pharisees, whose traditions regarding the sabbath were so restrictive that one was almost left with no reason to get out of bed that day. Responding to one of their silly sabbath traditions, Jesus observed, “The sabbath was made for man’s sake, and not man for the sabbath’s sake” (Mark 2:27).

No Longer in Force

Jesus fulfilled the Mosaic Covenant (Matthew 5:17). His death took that Law away and established His New Covenant (see Ephesians 2:14-16; Colossians 2:13-14; Galatians 2:23-25; Hebrews 8:13; 9:13-17). Because it has been replaced with “the perfect law of liberty” (James 2:25), the Mosaic Law no longer has authority over men.

While the New Covenant of Christ repeats the rest of the Ten Commandments, it contains not a word to enjoin sabbath observance on God's people. In fact, Paul listed sabbath days among “things which are a mere shadow of what is to come; but the substance belongs to Christ,” and said, “Let no one act as your judge” in regard to these things (Colossians 2:16-17). This makes it clear that sabbath keeping is not part of the New Covenant — on Saturday, Sunday, or any other day.

Timeless Lessons

Even though the sabbath is no longer in force, that doesn’t make the commandment pointless. Its principles should not be lost on us. The sabbath provided for things that man needed: rest from busy secular activities; reflection on God’s law; worship; and a reminder that we and our possessions really belong to God. Do we need these things any less today?

We need to rest. Jesus himself sometimes sought peace in solitude after a strenuous round of work. He encouraged the disciples to do likewise (see John 6:30-32). Human beings sometimes need to relax and refresh themselves. The hectic pace of our society makes it difficult, but all the more needful.

We need to reflect on God’s word. “O how I love Thy law! It is my meditation all the day” (Psalm 119:97). Because the inspired Scriptures will equip us for every good work, we should give diligence to knowing them (2 Timothy 3:16-17; 2:15). Every day is a good day to dive into the word of God.

We need to worship. Worship glorifies God and strengthens us. It is nothing but selfishness that keeps many of us from being present at the assemblies, especially on Sunday when most of us are off from work (see Hebrews 10:25). The first day of the week is a special day of worship for Christians (Acts 20:7; 1 Corinthians 16:2). It is evidently this day that John called “the Lord’s day” (Revelation 1:10). Yet our worship need not be limited to one day, or to the assemblies of the church. Times of family worship at home, gatherings in the homes of others for praise or prayer — in all these things God’s name is lifted up and we are built up.

The sabbaths emphasized God’s ownership of all things and His provision for His people. We need to remember that, too. We should give cheerfully, knowing that our material blessings are from a God who will provide all we need (2 Corinthians 9:6f). We should live in purity, knowing that even our bodies are not really ours (1 Corinthians 6:19). We should serve diligently, knowing that our abilities are, to borrow a phrase, “talent on loan from God” (see Matthew 25:14-30).

Conclusion

Like other aspects of Moses’ Law, the sabbath is a “type” or “shadow” of the greater reality in the New Covenant. It foreshadows the eternal day of rest and worship in heaven.“There remains therefore a Sabbath rest for the people of God.…Let us be diligent to enter that rest” (Hebrews 4:9,11).