Love Is Patient

In 1 Corinthians 13:4 Paul says that love is “patient.” Older translations say it “suffers long”—the term literally means to be “long-tempered.” It depicts self-restraint in the face of provocation. It can refer to patience with circumstances, but it is mostly used of patience with people (remember, it is love we’re talking about). Many, if not most, of the trials we face come from our dealings with our fellow men.

People sometimes mistreat us—even our brothers and sisters in Christ may do it. How we respond makes all the difference. Among the ancient Greeks it was considered a virtue to refuse to tolerate insult or injury, to repay every wrong done. The same philosophy prevails in our own time, especially in a nation where so many are concerned with their “rights” above anything else. The sheer number of lawsuits in our society shows that folks aren’t inclined to be “longsuffering” toward any insult or injury, whether intentional or accidental, whether real or imagined. Love, on the other hand, puts up with a lot. Why? Because love is concerned with the other fellow, not me. Love seeks the good of its object; and what good can I bestow by losing my temper and lashing out, even if I think it’s deserved?

Picture the Savior, after all his mistreatment, hanging on the cross, pleading with God to forgive them (Luke 23:34). “And while being reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats” (1 Peter 2:23). Picture Stephen, who, even as the stones were flying, asked God not to charge his murderers with their sin (Acts 7:60). No retaliation, no bitterness, no revenge. That’s love.

People don’t have to resort to outright abuse to try our patience, either. Sometimes all it takes is an honest mistake or some well-intentioned bungling. Admit it: We can get upset over some pretty silly things. And often it’s with people we care about: our spouses, our children, our brothers and sisters in the Lord. That sort of impatience is a sign of self-centeredness. In contrast, think of how longsuffering Jesus was with his apostles, even though they tried his patience on occasion (see John 14:8-9; Matthew 14:25-31). Seeking the good of another means being patient with his shortcomings.

The way of love is longsuffering. We need patience with our spouses, with our children, with our fellow saints, with everyone we meet. We must rise above the worldly inclination to be short-tempered and vengeful. Jesus’ people are to walk “with all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love” (Ephesians 4:2).